I find it slightly ironic that on the night that I
find my inspiration to continue with my blogs, I’m sitting in a hotel as a
guest rather than an employee. It’s
really a shame that working at Kate’s Motel didn’t pay enough to sustain a
college kid with no bills ‘cause he lived with mom and dad, much less support a
single mom.
Now I sell insurance.
Because THAT’S entertaining…
/insert exaggerated eye roll
It’s been an interesting six months. Let’s skip over the boring parts about how
close I am to hooking so that I can put groceries on the table, and go straight
to the interesting parts like how close I came today to pulling a complete
Jerry Maguire and freaking out on the ignorant chick in this insurance class
with me, here in Atlanta.
PMS is different, apparently, when you’re in your
30s and not on birth control.
Wait.
Maybe I’m just a bitch.
Whatever.
Word of advice: When you have just been hired for a
new job, your main goal in life should be to impress your employer. Because if you get fired, you’re fucked. Do not come barreling into the classroom 25
minutes late with the obnoxious excuse that you couldn’t find your
lipgloss. You want to know what happened
to your lipgloss? I found it on the
floor next to the 2nd grade Strawberry Shortcake pencil that you
insist on writing with and I gave it to the crackwhore that keeps looking in
the window after lunch. She looked like
she needed it worse than you did. She
said thanks, by the way.
Also, PLEASE STOP WITH THE DAMNED CORN NUTS. You sound like a donkey. This is an insurance class, not a movie
matinee. You don’t get to bring snacks.
You don’t get to clutter the table with your makeup and lotion and food
and elementary school supplies and call yourself a responsible adult at the
same time.
You wanna know a secret?
The instructor reported back to your supervisor this
afternoon.
I saw the email.
I do realize that being a grownup sucks giant monkey
balls. But you should have pretended, at
least.
Today is my last day with her. After today, I never have to see her again. I guess a little passive aggressive bitchyness would be permissible :P
ReplyDeleteAnd seriously...she comes in this morning dressed like a hot mess. House shoes. Head wrap. No makeup. She is setting up on her desk to apply that as we speak. I'm going to end up cutting someone today. I can feel it coming.
ReplyDelete